Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
