I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
