I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
