She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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