How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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