Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
