i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
