I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
