i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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