New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
