Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
