I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
