I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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