When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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