He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize