sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
