the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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