That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
