Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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