How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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