honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
love makes seman taste better
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
