I'm laying in your front yard are you home
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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