Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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