She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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