About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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