How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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