I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
