is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
