Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
