The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
