I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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