FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I DEMAND FORESKIN
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
