all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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