Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dick very happy bro
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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