dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
