I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
