I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
