i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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