handjob tips. give me some.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
