guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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