coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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