Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
barbara walters just said penis...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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