can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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