Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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