yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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