you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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