There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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