Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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