if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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