Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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