so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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