Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i believe in u and ur pee
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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