You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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