Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
