Well douche your snatch and let's go!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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