I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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