I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
