Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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